What do we know about feelings? What are they exactly... Why do we feel a certain type of way around certain people? Why does it feel like magic when it's you that i see? Why do my heart feels like it's melting when you just walk past me? Why am i shaking when you smile at me for no specific reasons? Why is my mind full of you when i turn the lights off? Why are my eyelids heavy and my heart hurting when you're away from me? Why can i cry for hours when you hate me...

You change my world, you are my murderer and my savior. You kill me just by the way you look into my eyes and bring me back to life just for being who you are. I want to remember how i felt the first time i heard your voice, the first time i looked into your eyes. I can't  remember how it felt like when you were a stranger to me. I'm not sure why... Maybe you've just never been a stranger to me. Maybe your energy quickly matched mine, maybe you was standing out from other people. You brought my soul back to me, wrapped up carefully and said :

   - You are a little bundle of joy and you are so far the best person i have ever met.

I couldn't explain what happened when i heard you say this. It was like the barricade that was surrounding my heart fell and the river of life could flow through my veins again, my cold heart slowly getting heat back. I was more than alive. You were so comfortable to be with, you would never fail to make me smile more, you knew how to turn my bad days into better ones just by showing me what it's like to be truly appreciated. I got to know someone like you. Others would probably not understand what made you so different from them but in reality it's because you never gave them the chance to meet you the way we met. You never gave them the chance to know the heart warming person that you are under your shell. But it made me feel really special, you gave me the opportunity to see you with no armours on, on your bad and good days. Listening to you talking about yourself, your passions or how you grew up to become the person you were was so interesting to me. Oh, i started to fall in love. I fell in love with how soothing your voice was when you was talking to me, i fell in love with how adorable your laugh was, i fell in love with the way you say certain words, i fell in love with your eyes i would stare at them whenever i would get the chance to see you, i fell in love with your lips, i would often look at them and wonder how it would feel like to feel them on mines. I fell in love with how wide your personnality is. I fell so hard in love with you.

Life started to look more like Life. Feelings you provided. The worlds colors became brighter, more beautiful. Everything seemed to be easier, better. In my eyes you were my forever and ever. I was ready to fight any battles that would come our way if it meant that i would be able to stay by your side. I was ready to give my all to you, my time, energy, love, if it meant that i'd be yours. You helped me love myself, you stayed by my side and we tried to protect each other from pain. You were the most precious thing to me. The thought of seeing you getting hurt would make me really angry. I wanted to erase all the pain you've been through in your life. I wanted to give you the world, the stars, the moon, the galaxies and the entire universe. I do not understand everything about life, i am not the brightest person alive, i have a lot of flaws... But there's something that i really don't understand. Something about you. How did the people that you've let in your life weren't able to see you the way i have? How did they not notice how beautiful your soul was? How dedicated and delicate you've always been? That letting you in our worlds would cause no damage, just bring new colors, poetry to our ugliest memories, cement to our self confidence... You built me a little Home. A Home where i felt safe and happy. A Home where i could dream and daydream about everything that makes me happy. And you. You became my first time for everything, i use to wish that my days could go faster so i didn't have to ever feel too much pain, you were the highlights of my days and the human i never wanted to be taken away from. Ever. You was my guide to the light. It was always you i was reaching to whenever i needed comfort because the thought of you holding me made me feel warm inside. How did they not see that side of you?

I thought a lot about feeling you. I was holding both of my hands together, tight and pretended that i was holding yours. I would listen to you and stop everything i was doing to close my eyes and imagine us laying in the grass on the hills with a beautiful night view on the city, me staring at you as you speak about what you was passionate about. I would've done absolutely everything for you despite my issues. You could've been the saddest and most depressive person on earth that i would of never gave up on you. The day i fell for your beautiful self, i signed up for everything. Not just your good side but everything, not just the good times but also the most difficult, not just to be happy but also for the late night crying sessions. I chose you and nobody else. My duty was to hold you tight on your worst days and admire you as you grow bigger and stronger. To love you unconditionally and forever. To see the world by your side and take care of you. I was aware that one day we were going to go through magical and horrible times, but i was ready for it. Felling you in person, seeing you in the morning sleeping by my side, seeing you eat the food i pour my love into making, walking together and holding hands, taking care of you, kissing you passionately, being called yours while looking into each other eyes. Those were the most beautiful things that ever happened to me. You were the most beautiful thing i've ever had. We were end game. I would always think "This love will keep us through blinding of the eyes, silence in the ears, darkness of the mind. Until death takes me away from you."

We were so close to forever.

If only you knew how much those little moments with you mattered to me.

Don't forget the nights when it all felt right.

When i buried my head against your shoulders, when my tears fell down your neck, when i could smell your scent, i loved you and your flaws, i loved the way you tried to love and protect me, the way you tolerated me, the feel of your hands stroking my hair, the way you said my name, how soft your hair is and how much i loved to play with it, your neck, how beautiful your eyes were, the way you smiled, all of your facial features that i wanted our children to inherit.

You said goodbye and walked away in the rain.

I watched you turn and go.

And i swear that all i wanted to do was to run after you and scream your name.

Tell you that i loved you a hundred times.

I wish to meet again, for the first time. To fall in love with you all over again. To be the one to protect you this time.

   - " Sometimes you think that you want to disappear, but all you want is to be found."

You found me. You saved me. I'll love you forever. Like i loved you a year ago, yesterday and tomorrow.

I'll continue to keep the flowers blooming. The butterflies around, and when the time will come i'll look up to the sky and thank the universe for giving me the opportunity to have been able to exist at the same time as you.

And one day, when my soul will merge with the clouds and the stars, i'll watch over you.

                                                                                                                  ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆